Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
