whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
