Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
