Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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