Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
