My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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