I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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