adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
