I'm going to jail i love you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
