She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
