So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
