I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it's like iHOP with fire
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
