I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
