I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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