He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
