Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
