Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
