last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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