someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
