I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
