In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
