Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My vagina just recognized that song.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
