my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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