end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
