is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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