I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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