Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
