shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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