i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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