Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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