If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
