i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
