I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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