She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
