now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
