Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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