see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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