And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk is not a location!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
