soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
