look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
