Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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