After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
When did angry sex become our thing?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
