I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
