His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
