Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
