I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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