More tranny stories later!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
