I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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