ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
