am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
